Don't sit on the toilet checking your Foursquare for too long. Your legs fall asleep and makes it hard to walk.
My friend's child was conceived on one of the tables at this restaurant.Delicious spaghetti, though! :D
Be careful at night near the beach, you might get approached by some ladies of the night. As Issac Hays use to say, "Walk On By!"
My headstone will read:" if you're reading this, you're standing on my boobs"! Lol...
Get wasted da night before u come to renew ur license, that way if u get pulled over, da officer will think dats da way u look in case u had a few drinks. Lol
Don't forget your son Kevin at home. He'll most likely have to fend off burglars on his own.
that old car MIGHT be worth money. and if you're lucky you could get cash on the spot!!!! ($60 if your door falls off lol)
If u have a Starbucks card, don't come here. They're a Starbucks that don't take they're own cards. That's like me saying "We don't accept our kids when the sitter hands em back". DICKHEADS!!!!!!!!!!!
