Doug Wilson

"Don't be a pussy: get the xplosion sauce!"

"Adjacent to Cineworld, offers 2-4-1 pizza and pasta for all unlimited card holders at all time. A great deal!"

"For a harbour, there's a distinct lack of boats. At least the bins are emptied often."

"Alight here for Buchanan St (S), St Enoch Centre and Argyle St."

"If you want to vacate the subway quickly, try walking up the moving escalator."

"If you like the outside of a circle, travel on the outer circle line. If you prefer the inside, travel inner."