Tim Mathews

"Expect to wait 90 minutes."

"If you planned on parking here over Thanksgiving, think again. It's full."

"Grocery store convenience, at convenience store prices!"

"Pros: cheap, always open, not crowded, lots of room. Cons: No squat rack or bench press, dumbbells only go up to 80 lbs, barbells only go up to 60, no pull-up bars."

"Be sure to wear your reflective belt, to avoid being run over by a tactical vehicle while on the treadmill."

"Try swimming to Galveston. It's probably quicker."