Phill Tromans

"The desserts. Oh dear Lord, the desserts. I wanted them all. But the ones we chose did not disappoint."

"As I type, I've been waiting 1hr 48 minutes for my food. It may well be amazing, but this is not acceptable."

"As good a supply of scale model kits and paints as I've found in Dubai."

"Overpriced, packed and generally lousy. No. No no no. Unless you're 17. And rich."

"Can't recommend the early morning safari drive enough. An amazing array of animals to see. Including a cheetah, if you're lucky."

"Nice place, nice location, woefully slow service, especially at the pool bar. Order your drinks 20 minutes before you want them and be prepared for the order to be wrong."