Meredith Blake

"Extra slutty tonight"

"The calamari here is about as useful as a monkey with a screwdriver."

"My server said our table was made from a piece of salvaged drift wood, but I totally saw the Ethan Allan stamp underneath! I don't even think their fair trade organic chai is certified!"

"The bum that sleeps under the giant Bud Light golf umbrella will play his trumpet if you give him some change."

"This bathroom is great. It has everything you look for in a bathroom. Toilet, sink, shower, mirror, hand towels, it's all there. Make sure to try the mango scented hand soap!"

"The stage looks like something I built in Tech Ed in 8th grade."