Jon Whitworth

"Be prepared to queue, no matter which day you visit. Service a little too slow for a fast food outlet."

"Print a voucher from 2-4-1 London attractions and save £19 when you go with your other half"

"Don't drink the tea from the right hand machine!"

"Don't eat the biscuits"

"If you're trying to heat the room don't forget to close the vent on the wall."