Jaimie Brown

"Very helpful staff. They also have a big box of phone chargers so just when you thought all was lost, they can cater for almost any stricken traveller's mobile needs."

"Crappola! Gate C37; what a dump!"

"You can't beat 50% Smirnoff Blue vodka for that late evening flight home. This is a rare treat in airport lounges these days, plus freshly squeezed lemon juice too!"

"Nothing is good, Malpensa T2 is a dive!"

"A rare find, Trappist beers and Guinness by the pint - that's almost unheard of for Italy, let alone Gallarate! Get it while you can. Some English speakers too, for those who don't parla Italiano."

"The Saturday night stays are very inexpensive but expect to be an unwelcome guest at somebody else's party/corporate p**s-up/wedding/etc with the Hounslow & Staines massiv!"