Daniel Lingen

"There's a Pete's Coffee that nobody knows about by Gate 57. I've never seen a line form, even during rush hour."

"Don't write "'Murcia" on your arrival card as the country that issued your passport. While it may seem funny, the detained group of hoodlums in front of me will tell you otherwise."

"Just drive without a license. Jail is much better (and faster)"

"Be sure to bring your own shots in 3 oz containers, the bars aren't exactly open until 2. #alcoholism"