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Tips for Tourists

1. Mamoun's Falafel

8.3
30 St. Marks Pl (btwn 2nd & 3rd Ave), New York, NY
Mediterranean Restaurant · East Village · 208 tips and reviews

NathanNathan: A cab caught fire outside Mamoun's and I tried putting it out with their red sauce but the cab transported to hell and exploded instead.

2. Whitmans

8.2
406 E 9th St (btwn 1st Ave & Avenue A), New York, NY
Burger Joint · East Village · 235 tips and reviews

NathanNathan: Fun Fact: Walt Whitman opened Whitmans Restaurant after saving up all the money he earned from writing fortune cookie fortunes for the local fortune cookie factory.

Cosmo's Launderama is one of Tips for Tourists.

3. Cosmo's Launderama

5.2
142 1st Ave (at 9th St.), New York, NY
Laundry Service · East Village · 8 tips and reviews

NathanNathan: An unlabeled box of Tide detergent and an unlabeled box of sugar cubes are hidden behind the clock. Gamble wisely. The detergent is also cubed.

4. Westville East

8.9
173 Avenue A (at E 11th St), New York, NY
American Restaurant · East Village · 298 tips and reviews

NathanNathan: Not to be confused with Eastville West :/

5. Table 12

188 Avenue A (btw 11th St & 12th St), New York, NY
Mediterranean Restaurant · East Village · 45 tips and reviews

NathanNathan: The word "table" is used kind of liberally here at Table 12 considering it's actually just flat pieces of wood placed on top of tortoises.

6. Tompkins Square Park

8.7
E 7th St to E 10th St (btwn Ave A & B), New York, NY
Park · Alphabet City · 160 tips and reviews

NathanNathan: There's a pile of fertilizer in Tompkins Square Park you can't miss it. There's also piles of human shit sprinkled around Thompkins Square Park too, though, so watch your step.

7. Union Square Park

9.1
Union Sq E/W & Broadway (btwn E 14th & E 17th St), New York, NY
Park · Union Square · 565 tips and reviews

NathanNathan: Free gold giveaway from real-life leprechaun.

8. The American Sign Language & English Secondary School

225 E 23rd St (3rd Ave), New York, NY
High School · Rose Hill · 1 tip

NathanNathan: Look for the magic basketball shoes behind the secret closet. Legend has it that Michael Jordan left them behind and he who wears them will play like The Airness.

9. Leo Burnett NY

300 Park Ave S (btwn 22nd & 23rd), New York, NY
Office · Flatiron District · 2 tips and reviews

NathanNathan: Free apples

10. Google New York

76 9th Ave (btwn W 15th & W 16th St), New York, NY
Office · Chelsea · 120 tips and reviews

NathanNathan: I looked up Google New York on Google Maps and my iPhone exploded.

11. St. Patrick's Cathedral

9.5
14 E 51st St (at 5th Ave), New York, NY
Church · 305 tips and reviews

NathanNathan: The mayor of St. Patrick's should only be the Father, Son, and Holy Spirit. And maybe St. Patrick. And the priests.

12. Bareburger

85 2nd Ave (at E 5th St), New York, NY
Burger Joint · East Village · 96 tips and reviews

NathanNathan: Organic Chupacabra burgers!

13. Black Iron Burger

540 E 5th St (btwn Ave A & B), New York, NY
Burger Joint · Alphabet City · 134 tips and reviews

NathanNathan: Good burgers but I don't get why you have to eat at an unbalanced table with your arms tied behind your back trying to tilt the sandwich into your mouth like you were playing Hungry Hungry Hippos.

14. 99 Miles to Philly

94 3rd Ave (btwn 12th & 13th St), New York, NY
Sandwich Spot · Greenwich Village · 83 tips and reviews

NathanNathan: Sometimes the cheesesteaks are kind of loud when it comes through the 99 miles of pneumatic tubes from Philly.

15. Tompkins Square Bagels

8.8
165 Avenue A (btwn E 10th St & E 11th St), New York, NY
Bagel Shop · East Village · 350 tips and reviews

NathanNathan: Their everything bagel has everything on it (including but not limited to: French fries, A-1 Steak Sauce, that shitty Halloween candy you never eat, vintage Star Wars toys).

Smithsonian American Art Museum is one of Tips for Tourists.

16. Smithsonian American Art Museum

9.0
800 G St. NW (8th and F Streets, NW), Washington, D.C.
Art Museum · Downtown-Penn Quarter-Chinatown · 86 tips and reviews

NathanNathan: If you have trouble convincing your son to go to this museum, tell him it's actually the Boobies Museum.

17. Boston Massacre Monument

8.6
State St. (at Congress St.), Boston, MA
Monument · Downtown Boston · 24 tips and reviews

NathanNathan: Historical site of America's first concern of gun control laws pre-Bill of Rights.

18. John F. Kennedy International Airport (JFK)

6.4
JFK Expy (Van Wyck Expy), Queens, NY
International Airport · Jamaica · 3382 tips and reviews

NathanNathan: The FAA has noticed that planes to go back and to the left when they fly out despite what the radar says.

19. William P. Hobby Airport (HOU)

7.2
7800 Airport Blvd (at Broadway St), Houston, TX
Airport · 561 tips and reviews

NathanNathan: Formerly an airport for model airplane hobbyists, the line, "everything's bigger in Texas" became law and all the toy airplanes became real airplanes, however, the name Hobby stuck

20. Inside The Lion King - The Exhibit

1095 Avenue of the Americas (at 42nd St.), New York, NY
Museum · Midtown East · 6 tips and reviews

NathanNathan: Free broadway show in the theater of the mind.

21. American Museum of Natural History

9.2
200 Central Park W (btwn W 77th & W 81st St), New York, NY
Science Museum · Upper West Side · 1398 tips and reviews

NathanNathan: Hide out and stay after hours so you can see the animals come to life but trapped behind glass so they kill themselves out of sadness. It's sad actually. Don't stay after hours.

22. US Post Office - Cooper Station

5.2
93 4th Ave (at E 11th St), New York, NY
Post Office · East Village · 55 tips and reviews

NathanNathan: Look for the secret Illuminate entrance where there's a clubhouse lounge and no lines. Be careful and don't get the secret password wrong though, or they will murder your family.

23. High Line

9.5
btwn Gansevoort & W 34th St (btwn 10th & 12th Ave), New York, NY
Park · Chelsea · 1495 tips and reviews

NathanNathan: Known by locals as the Cry Line, people often bring their significant others here to break up with them hoping that the gorgeous view softens the blow.

24. Trader Joe's

8.1
142 E 14th St (btwn Irving Pl & 3rd Ave), New York, NY
Grocery Store · Union Square · 303 tips and reviews

NathanNathan: With the lines snaking through the store, everything's an impulse buy.

25. Hotel Tortuga

246 E 14th St (btwn 2nd & 3rd Ave), New York, NY
Mexican Restaurant · Gramercy Park · 93 tips and reviews

NathanNathan: Great views from the penthouse suite! The PETA protestors can get a little loud outside, though, because of all the beds are giant turtle shells you climb inside like a tent.

26. Central Park

9.7
59th to 110th St (btwn 5th Ave & Central Park W), New York, NY
Park · Central Park · 1839 tips and reviews

NathanNathan: Keep an eye out for the Central Perk Cafe. NYers try to keep it a secret from tourists but it's located in the Alice In Wonderland monument through the rabbit hole.

27. PlayStation Theater

1515 Broadway (at W 44th St), New York, NY
Music Venue · Theater District · 106 tips and reviews

NathanNathan: Don't buy HDMI cables here. They soak it in vodka first.

28. Painted Ladies

8.9
Steiner St (btwn Grove & Hayes St), San Francisco, CA
Historic and Protected Site · Alamo Square · 149 tips and reviews

NathanNathan: Find Bob Saget under the east side tree to give you a personal and quite disgusting tour.

29. Club Donatello

6.7
501 Post St, San Francisco, CA
Resort · Lower Nob Hill · 32 tips and reviews

NathanNathan: Oddly, the fresco in the stairwell was painted by Leonardo da Vinci but was altered by Banksy in a turf war.

30. Union Square

8.5
333 Post St (btwn Powell & Stockton St), San Francisco, CA
Pedestrian Plaza · Downtown San Francisco-Union Square · 433 tips and reviews

NathanNathan: A switch between the 9th and 10th step will open a portal to the Union Square in NYC. But the switch slightly to the right of it will transport you to the Union Square in Denver.

31. Atelier

300 Park Ave S (btwn E 22nd & 23rd), New York, NY
Office · Flatiron District · 1 tip

NathanNathan: Great restroom alternative if you're tired of 7th floor's restrooms.

Veselka is one of Tips for Tourists.

32. Veselka

8.9
144 2nd Ave (at E 9th St), New York, NY
Ukrainian Restaurant · East Village · 649 tips and reviews

NathanNathan: Fun fact: Velselka is open 24 hours a day, 7 days a week because they're afraid the baby might come to life if they turn off the lights.

33. Ego's Penthouse

E 9th St (2nd Ave), New York, NY
Apartment or Condo · East Village · 3 tips and reviews

NathanNathan: Say hello to Ego. You won't regret it!

Grand Central Terminal is one of Tips for Tourists.

34. Grand Central Terminal

9.0
87 E 42nd St (btwn Vanderbilt & Park Ave), New York, NY
Rail Station · 1470 tips and reviews

NathanNathan: The guides tour takes you behind the scenes to an alternate Earth (aka Earth 2) where airships are the the primary mode of transportation.

35. Trader Joe's

8.1
142 E 14th St (btwn Irving Pl & 3rd Ave), New York, NY
Grocery Store · Union Square · 303 tips and reviews

NathanNathan: Trying coming on Opposite Day when there's no line!