Adam Robbins

"Don't fuck around, get the Fish & Chips — served with a pot of mushy peas smaller than the change you'll get out of a fiver for a flat pint at the bar. Where else you gonna go, The Duke? Please."

"Don't fuck around, get pizza, the only thing in this place aside from the 'I can't be fucked to be here' staff that hasnt been in the fucking microwave. Where else are you gonna go, Yard Sale? Please."

"Don't fuck around, get a sandwich. Vegan shit served w/ a side of hairdressing. The way to a vegans heart isn't through the vagina, it's through The Canary. Where else you gonna go, La Bouche? Please."

"Firstly, expect a fucking long wait. The food? Better than the usual Mediterranean tourist shit. The whole meal was ruined by a wasp. Where else are you gonna go? Kiva Bar? Please."

"Don't fuck around, get the helmet shot, that shit is degrading. A crowded sweatbox served with a side of vest wearing douchebags. Where else are you, Carpe Diem? Please."

"Don't fuck around, get the Pastrami on Rye — greasier than an estate agent rubbing lard on a chipshop workers wife. Absolute mayhem in this place, but where else you gonna go? Sweet Chick? Please."